Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Praying for My Blog

In case you didn't notice, I took down the post announcing the coming together of mine and my sister's blogs. This project has been put on permanent and indefinite hold for now. With her life being as hectic as it is after having her fourth child (a boy finally!), she decided after much prayer and thought that she needed to step away from blogging for the time being. I fully support her decision and know that it is what will be best for her. I will be praying that her life will calm down and she can put the urgent and important things first and not stressing about the things that aren't so essential; like having a blog.

But what about me? I've obviously not been doing great at updating my blog. I've also been busy and been in a bit of a blog funk. I still have the desire to blog. I still read other blogs and wish I had the words and pictures that other bloggers have. Yet my blog remains blank for weeks at a time. I have several unpublished posts that still need editing and adding to.

I blame it on my perfectionism; if I can't do something near-perfect, I don't want to do it at all.

Great excuse...right? Right...

So I am giving myself a week of prayer and meditation over my blog to decide if I'm going to continue with it or give it up for the time being. I know it doesn't seem like such a big deal to most of you, but for me, it is. If I'm going to have a blog and put time into writing posts, I want them to mean something and to be thought-provoking or at least mildly interesting! I don't want to write just to write. I don't want every post to be about my kids and what new things they are up to right now (although there would be a lot of that!). I want it to reflect the name I chose, which is comical, but was also chosen carefully to convey a concept.

I ask that if you will, pray for me as I make this decision. And know that it's not just about my blog, it's about all the things going on in my life.  Deciding what needs to stay and what needs to go. What is priority and what is fluff. What God wants my focus to be on and what He wants me to cast away.

A blog isn't a bad thing. But even a good thing can get in the way of something great that God wants me to do. Until I make a final decision on my blog, I'll have this little nagging bit of debris in my brain telling me to write about this or that. I thoroughly enjoy writing and have always enjoyed the challenge of writing a paper and supporting my arguments and pointing out reasons why my theory was correct.

If I'm going to have a blog, I want to be able to enjoy my writing and look forward to it and not just do it out of "duty" because it's expected. That's kind of where I've fallen lately. I feel like I should write about my kids and these things they do and about the new domestic discoveries I've made on doing laundry or cleaning my floors or any other number of things I've discovered since leaving full-time work and being home more.

But is it the best use of my time right now? Is it what God really wants from me or does he want me doing something else with this burning desire to write? I honestly don't know. So I will pray and seek a definitive answer from Him over the next week. I will search the scriptures to see what He shows me my priorities should be and if there is another place I should be using this desire for writing and creating thoughts in a way more fitting to His will for me. This blog may be exactly that place, but I won't know unless I put it at His feet and ask.

I will post again when I have that answer. Thanks for the patience and loyalty to my blog. I can see by my traffic that I do get people on here regularly and I don't want to disappoint.

God bless,